How many times have you heard someone say, “I don’t have a choice.”

Think about it for a moment. Did you have a choice to eat toast or cereal for breakfast this morning? Or, what to do this evening? Watch the news, take a walk, read a book?

But, we reply, “That’s being silly. I’m talking about the times I really don’t have a choice. Like when my kid is sick and I have to go to work. Or what about the time my landlord raised the rent again?”

These are tough predicaments and yes, there may be no easy answers. However, to believe we have no choice, especially in the most difficult situations, is to buy into the idea we are victims of an unfair life or the actions of uncaring people. The way we choose to respond or react to the unpleasant stuff can reveal more about ourselves than we’d like. It seems easier to blame the universe. Or the proverbial “they”. “They” did this to me, “they” made my life miserable. I know for a long time my “they” was the dysfunctional family I grew up in. Sometimes this kind of thinking is rooted in our perception of the Divine. Why did God let this happen? Why does God treat me this way? Why do I feel like God pushed me into a corner as if to dare me to find a way out?

As I’ve taken time to listen, ponder and seek God about the hard stuff in my own life, I’ve learned I have at least three possibilities when I’m about to utter the words, “I don’t have a choice.”

  • I can choose the option that will be result in the least  personal inconvenience
  • I can choose the option that may have provide recognition or applause
  • I can choose the option from the heart that gives witness to Jesus’ love

You’d think as a Christian I’d opt for the last one without a second thought. Nope. The reality is that having been given the gift of free will, it takes time to learn, discern, and embrace the courage Jesus modeled when it comes to making the loving choice.

It would be great if we could learn this in a day, or a week or two—that if we say we have chosen Christ, we are making the choice every time to be victors, not victims when life becomes hard, painful, or more difficult than we could ever have imagined. But then if that were possible, we’d be God. Which may be why, fellow sojourner, we are given unlimited opportunities to learn how to choose love when it matters the most. And even then, to realize all things are possible only through saying yes to Divine mercy and grace.

Do I tend to blame “they” for the unpleasant stuff in my life? Why?

Can I ask God for the grace to take responsibility for my choices?