Seriously. Have you any idea who came before you?
Genealogy is an intriguing hobby for many people. Interest in the topic seems to come and go, yet if we take the time to sort through old records [mostly online these days], what we discover may prove not only enlightening, but healing.
While my beloved and I have done extensive family research over the years, we, like others we know, have been taken aback at times when certain facts came to light. However, as unsettling as that may sound, there is wisdom in looking into the past for revelation and insight that may help us understand the present moment.
First off, if you haven’t done a lot of research on Grandma Jones or Auntie Ellie, you might want to approach your adventure with an open heart and nonjudgmental attitude. Given we can’t actually talk to these folks, a little compassion goes a long way.
No clearer example of this was when we learned my paternal grandfather was divorced and remarried, battled alcohol addiction his entire life, and fathered at least eleven children, two [or three?] of them out of wedlock. Those two, by the way, ended up in an orphanage for many years.
Facts as they are, there are reasons why this information is helpful. Number one, it offers at least one explanation for my father’s behavior—alcoholism, depression, and two marriages. Secondly, an awareness of a history of addiction was a red flag for me, given the way these things can be passed from generation to generation.
On the other hand, my maternal great grandmother and an aunt died of breast cancer. Combined with the reality of my mother’s mastectomy, I did not hesitate when it became time to begin annual mammograms.
Knowledge serves as a foundation for enlightenment, those ah-hah moments when we realize we need to pay attention to what we are thinking, feeling, and the actions we are about to choose—or not.
All of which can lead to deep healing. Years ago I made a definitive commitment to God, family, and myself: “By the power of your love, grace, and mercy, Lord, I am drawing a line in the sand. The addiction stops here.” He has not failed, for one moment, to companion me through my own challenges to avoid alcohol as a means to ameliorate pain and suffering.
We have filled in lots of blanks in our shared family trees. Yet many questions and unknowns remain. Do I really have French Canadian Indian ancestors, or is that a whimsical myth? Is it true one of my direct line relatives helped slaves get to the north during the Civil War?
As it turns out, history, in its own way, is “alive” with a relevancy to the moment we may have never realized apart from taking time to poke through a bunch of old, dusty record books and fuzzy, yellow-edged photographs.
In the meantime, we take solace in knowing our children and their families have access to a wealth of facts, stories, and images that can only serve to enlighten and heal them in their own unique journeys.
Have I ever looked into the family history? Why, or why not?
How do I feel when I learn of a “dark or unsettling” bit of family history?
Can I ask the Lord to help me use what I learn to break generational curses?
Can I offer my gratitude for all those who have gone before, regardless of their circumstances?
