So why is it we hesitate, negotiate, and vacillate—mostly in our own heads—when it comes to certain tasks or activities? Dozens of books and articles have been written on the topic by experts who know this stuff inside and out, yet here we are. Most of us, quietly aware we have a “put-off-till-later list.” Truth be known, much later for some of it.
I’m neither a scientist nor academic, however, here are four explanations for why this later/now conundrum shows up in my life:
- The task/activity involves a new skill I barely use or need to learn
When I don’t feel equipped for the job, I get distracted by the possibility of failure before the first step. I imagine all the things that could go wrong, or at least not the way I believe they need to happen.
While this explanation makes a certain amount of sense on the surface, it’s also wrought with self-doubt and self-judgment. Might the task be a challenge or difficult? Of course. Does that mean I may succeed if I take a deep breath and try? Absolutely.
- I could break it or make it worse
This is a frequent sentiment when people talk about putting off technology related tasks. Yep, I’m one of those. When I built my new website last year I was convinced the light touch at the wrong time on the wrong key would surely crash the whole thing. And just for the record—with 100+ keys on most keyboards the possibilities for perceived disaster are plentiful.
The good news is there were some unintended demolitions, however, with patience and perseverance [and lots of prayers] I eventually managed to pull it together. On the other hand, with regard to full transparency, I need to deal with some new updates so once again have to remind myself there could be a demolition or two. IF they happen, won’t be the end of the world, or my website.
- The task involves numerous and/or detailed steps
T-i-m-e. Project X will take how long? This is one little four-letter word can make grown women and men break into a cold sweat. The mere thought of writing a book, multiple edits, and querying agents [only a portion of what’s involved] can overwhelm me before I ever begin.
All of which means—One. Step. At. A. Time. Took me awhile to learn this one, however, the more I can focus on the one next piece of the greater whole, the sooner I realize I’m much closer to the finish line than the starting gate.
- This will surely be painful in some manner or form
None of us like to suffer. Be it physical, emotional, or psychological. Even the perception there might be a degree of discomfort or misery can freeze us on the spot.
As someone who has had to learn to live with varying degrees of chronic physical pain, [which, if not dealt with in a healthy manner sooner rather than later will lead to the added misery of emotional and psychological pain] I’ve had to discover a variety of ways to get my attention off what hurts and onto a task or activity that utilizes all or most of my senses. It’s not that I ignore what hurts at the expense of my health. It’s simply that if I don’t make the choice [with the grace of God] to tackle even the smallest project, I’ll spend my day bemoaning and moaning. And that fellow sojourner, can bring one perilously close to the edge of feeling and behaving like a victim.
If life was about the same routines, the same people, the same experiences, day in and day out, I suspect we’d never need to be concerned with hesitation, negotiation, and vacillation. Yet most of us know better. If there’s one thing we can depend on, it’s change. That means if we hope to have quality of life we will need to continue to grow, try new things, and most important—step out of our comfort zone.
Note to self: remember what you’ve shared here in the days ahead.
In the meantime, this brief quote seems to be wisdom of the best kind:
“Begin to weave and God will give you the thread.” – German Proverb
Do I tend to hesitate, negotiate, or vacillate when it comes to certain tasks? Why?
What might explain why I struggle with later/now?
How do I feel when I try to decide which direction to go?
