A bargain. We all want one, true? And when we can set the terms, even better.
Yet how many times have things not turned out the way we thought they would when we worked hard to negotiate terms suitable to our preferences and likes?
I’m not about to discourage a bit of fair-minded haggling when it comes to the purchase of a new vehicle, a home, or even a basket of tomatoes from the local farmers market. As long as we approach these situations with a desire to consider the big picture of others, as well as ourselves, we can often share the mutual benefits of the bargaining process.
On the other hand, my sense is one of the greatest challenges we face as people who avow a belief in the Divine is the temptation to try and make a bargain with God. Not every day, by any means. Just often enough to accomplish what we think it will take to get us through the moment—which usually means to relieve the pain, the pressure, or the uncomfortable feelings we’d rather not experience.
While there’s nothing imminently wrong with wanting to minimize the unpleasant stuff, the problems arise when we make it a habit. Or begin to view God, either overtly or covertly, as the One whose responsibility it is to make us feel happy and good, at least most of the time.
Bargaining can take make many forms. Interestingly enough, they all usually begin with an “if”, the first clue we are about to quantify our potential choices and actions and attempt to get what we believe will be a better deal than the one we have.
If you, God, will fix A, B, C, then I will be nicer, more loving, and so forth. This “if-then” is the classic demand for people to be fixed the way we would like them to be, aka, more like me. Problem is—there is only one A, B, or C and only one you. Or me. It’s no accident God created each of us to be similar as human beings, however, we have also been given talents and gifts unique to our personalities. Sooo . . . If we truly believe, as Christians, that God knows what’s best, why is it we insist on negotiating for something different?
If you, God, will change—make that eliminate—A, B, or C in my life, I will do whatever you want me to do. I’ll go first. Guilty on this count. While I don’t broadcast my personal situation living with chronic pain, I have gone to God on more than one occasion and said something like this: “You know, I could do a lot more if I didn’t hurt so much.” Problem is—when I make my pain the reason God needs to do something to change my circumstances, I’m tossing aside His wisdom—yes, often a mystery—for the purpose for which He has allowed me to carry it. Which is not to say God will slam the door in my face for praying and asking Him to help me. Sooo . . . If we truly believe, as Christians, that God knows what’s best, why is it we insist on negotiating for something different?
If you, God, will give me—I mean bless me—with lots of money, recognition, or high office, I will do so much for those less fortunate. Wow, and what a trap this can be. Most of us have seen too many stories of folks in positions of power and their indifference to the pain and suffering of others. At the same time, people with limited resources often go the extra mile without a second thought. Problem is—kindness and compassion are not commodities, they are gifts shared freely from the heart with love. Sooo . . . If we truly believe, as Christians, that God knows what’s best, why is it we insist on negotiating for something different?
To recognize the often subtle ways we want God to do, to fix, to change something in our life is a grace in and of itself. To allow Him to open our eyes to the ways we attempt to get Him to come over to our way of thinking is a sure sign of growth and maturity.
Which doesn’t mean we need to beat up on ourselves for our more childish ways. A better choice is to be patient and kind with that inner child who may be frustrated, angry, or hurt with life at the moment.
Scripture is replete with God’s promises to hang in there with us through the lightest of days and darkest of nights. Maybe we could choose to accept His gift of presence with grateful hearts. And then let it be okay to save our desire to strike a bargain for the street vendors and showroom dealers.
Do I tend to want to bargain with God? Why?
How do I feel about ‘haggling for a better deal’?
What might my inner child need to feel at peace?
