We often like to think the second time around of “whatever” will provide a second chance to do something better than we did it on the first occasion.
On the other hand, I’m a great believer that most of us do the best we can the first time. Whether a first marriage, a first child, or a first job, our behaviors and actions may turn out to be less than we [or others] had hoped for. If given the slightest opportunity, we think second chances are all about being better. Yet I wonder if “better” is highly over-rated. What if the real value is to view the second time around as “different”?
As freshly minted grandparents, my beloved and I savor the time we get to spend with our first [and to date, only] grandchild. As I mentioned in a post last fall, this little girl arrived the middle of October. Now three months old, aside from mom and dad, we are her primary care providers.
I knew this would be different than the first time of around with our children. For one thing, the gadgets and gizmos now available to make things easier [diaper wipes warmer anyone?] are helpful for both baby and me. Heating a bottle happens in a perfectly timed couple of minutes. Wow, so different than when our two were this age.
The joys are easy to note. The coos, wiggles and smiles. The squeak noises not yet words. The warm, snugly, smooth little cheeks and head of soft hair that nuzzle neatly into the space next to my neck. Even diaper-changing at this stage is no big deal as she squirms and grins her way through the process.
The challenges the second time around? If the first time around child-rearing was marked by “what does this noise, cry, action, behavior mean?” the second time around is “now I have some wisdom, however, I don’t move as fast or stay awake as well as I used to.” Wouldn’t it be great if we had all the wisdom of experience and the energy regardless of our chronological age?
Maybe the key to fully appreciating each phase of life is to accept that the second time around with anything is one of new opportunities for personal change and growth. It doesn’t mean we made a mess of things the first time, it simply means there’s something to be learned each step of the way.
And yes, dear granddaughter, you can remind grandma and grandpa of this Divine truth when we are tempted to wish we had more energy and instead choose to nap when you do.
