Most of us have childhood memories of being afraid. Of something. Of someone. Of the dark. Of the storm. And so forth. To make matters worse, the kids in the neighborhood or on the school playground likely added to our sense of fear. How many times do you recall being called a “scaredy cat”, or worse?
It seems that when we become adults, we may carry some of the similar tendencies to evaluate or judge one another based on our personal perspective of what comprises a ‘real fear’. While we may not use names like scaredy cat, our behavior may leave much to be desired. We quietly compare another person’s fear with ours—that is, if we are even willing to acknowledge that we have any to begin with. Ergo the idea of fear-shaming.
A few examples . . .
Some people were motivated by fear of serious illness or death should they contract Covid that they availed themselves of the vaccines as soon as they became available. On the other hand, some people were motivated by fear of the unknown should they get the vaccine, so they chose not to do so.
For some people, the fear of flying is enough to keep them on the ground. For others, the fear of negotiating heavily populated freeways and big cities is more than enough to keep them in a small town.
For some people, the fear of being poor is more than enough to motivate them to squeeze every penny until it squeals. For others, the fear of not being seen as generous motivates them to spend with reckless abandon.
The list goes on.
Some people fear heights. Some fear the high seas. Others fear the wild thunderstorms of spring or the icy blizzards of winter.
Fear of the neighborhood pet. Size of the dog or the bark make little difference.
Fear of being seen without makeup, dressed in nice clothes, or driving a clean vehicle.
And then there are the subtle, yet potentially more destructive fears.
Fear of being misunderstood. Fear of being judged for one’s choice of religious practices, reading materials, or even kinds of entertainment.
To fear-shame—compare, contrast, decide which fear is worthy of being called a fear—is to wander down the awful road of judgment that does not bode well for anyone, let alone someone who considers themselves to be a God-fearing person. Which, by the way, is the kind of fear we are exhorted to manifest.
As if this isn’t enough, there’s another aspect to fear-shaming that, for Christians especially, is unloving and shows a lack of compassion. We may not realize the implications when we casually, even flippantly urge someone to just “let go and let God”. Do we really intend to disrespect that person and their life experiences? Yes, most of us know fear is not from the Lord. On the other hand, most of us have a learning curve to discover the roots of our own fears, let alone be dismissive of anyone else’s journey.
“Comparison is odious,” as a gentle man of the cloth shared with my Bible Study Group years ago. Seems that is wise counsel in many circumstances.
Do I know what fears are a challenge for me to overcome?
Can I ask God to help me discover their roots and begin to let go of them?
Do I tend to be dismissive of the fears others struggle with? Why?
