As I have listened to people over the years, a frequent topic of concern involves two areas that are particularly challenging when it comes to the way we make choices: What to choose when we have several good options and secondly, and almost more difficult—what to choose when we sense God seems silent and the still small voice is not being helpful in the decision-making process.
Let’s look at each situation, then I’ll posit a thread that runs through both.
What to choose when we have several good options.
I’ve referenced this quote in previous posts, however, the words and meaning are as insightful as when they were first written—“the good is the enemy of the best.” [Voltaire, Oswald Chambers and others]
When we are faced with several good choices to take action, it’s easy to get into our heads and nitpick each one to the nth degree. Or, put another way, we fall into the trap of looking for the ‘perfect’ answer.
All of us have our own idea of perfect. For some people it is the choice they believe will make the most people happy. For others, a choice of perfection is one that will impact a certain person or the greatest number of people in a way favorable to our views and perspectives. Why in the world, we reason, would we make a choice that would ensure the opposite outcome even though some choices that elicit a negative reaction are the most loving we could make at the time?
What to choose when we sense God seems silent and the still small voice is not being helpful in the decision-making process
Maybe the best way to describe this circumstance is with a personal example.
For several months now I’ve been praying and pondering which route to go with my next big writing project. I do know I’m to write another book but which one? Because writing a book is a huge commitment of time and energy, it is my heart’s desire to be about the business God calls me to rather than my idea of what that means.
I have part of the picture—I’m supposed to be working on a book. But, which one? The second novel to follow the one I’ve written, edited, and polished as best as I can [brief description on the website] OR do I tackle a memoir that will focus on healing from fear?
God has not been real clear to this point. On the other hand, we both know I’m kinda slow on the uptake at times. And so I wait, which can feel a lot like procrastination. It’s taken me years to trust and appreciate the process of listen, wait, listen, and then move.
Often, our first reaction [as opposed to response] is to force a decision. We tell ourselves to get off the proverbial pot and ‘just do it.’ Yet that action often produces unhappy results. We beat up on ourselves for not being patient. Or for a dozen other reasons that are self-critical and judgmental.
Truth is, unless we need to escape a burning building, hurry and rushing are not our friends. So why do we insist on forcing a choice, come heck or high water?
Glad you asked. Now for that shared thread—in both of these situations of feeling the need to make a choice we are uncomfortable. Uncertain. Enveloped in layers of doubt or buried completely in double-minded thinking. In other words—we are uneasy. We don’t know which way to go, so a choice, any choice, is better than living through this yucky state of unsettledness.
Ignatius of Loyola, considered by many to be the master instructor and spiritual companion for understanding the nuances of the art of discernment, has something to say about how to choose when we find ourselves in these kinds of situations. [I’ve paraphrased his words for simplicity.]
Don’t. Do. Anything.
Yep. That’s it. Do not, I repeat, do not make a choice to get rid of the sense of pressure or indecision. Because? Those uncomfortable feelings you so desperately want to get rid of are an indication you do not have clarity of purpose—yet.
This “choice to not make a choice” until the Divine provides insight is probably one of the hardest to make as Christians. It requires the deepest kind of patience, hope, trust, and love that God will point the way at exactly the moment we need to know.
So, what can you do in the meantime?
Listen to your heart, in conjunction with your reason and will. Believe that God knows what is best and that He will get your attention through a word, a sound, a voice, an image—whatever it takes to guide you to make the best choice, in whatever circumstance you find yourself.
