It seems obvious yet we try to wiggle our way around the reality: each and every time we say “yes” to someone or something, we are, in fact, saying “no” to a myriad of other options. Yet why do we persist in believing we are somehow different, that we can, in fact, have one without the other?
When we take the time to pray and discern the do-I-say-yes? or do-I-say-no? conundrum, we may discover the root of our consternation is that we have defaulted to one of the following mindsets:
We convince ourselves we can do it all. You’ve seen it or felt it—schedules so full of places to go and things to do, you collapse in a heap before dinnertime. In our desire to accomplish our tasks or serve others it’s easy to over-book, over-do, and be overwhelmed. A prayerfully considered no [or two or three] can not only reduce the hurry and flurry throughout the day, but result in a healthier mind, spirit, and body.
We battle double-mindedness with the choices we do—or don’t—make. I’ve lost count of the times, thankfully, now mostly in the past, when I’d say yes or no and then lapse into a full-blown haze of doubt, questioning if the opposite choice would have been better. It helps to remember God is not a God of confusion. When we pause, pray, and take the time to seek his will and direction, we can make our choice and move on. If the Divine doesn’t demand perfection from us, why jump on the merry go round of indecision that tries to convince us that a “perfect” state of being is even possible, let alone desirable?
We get caught in the web of being a people pleaser rather than a God pleaser. This is a big one. In our best efforts to reduce tension, avoid discord, or make someone else unhappy, we say yes when a well-placed no would be the wiser choice. After all, who wants to stir up a hornet’s nest or be the one who’s blamed for turning a smile into a frown? Without a doubt we need to be kind, thoughtful human beings. Which is certainly not the same as caving in to every little whim and fancy others might float in our direction.
To put our focus on being a God-pleaser first doesn’t mean life will always be smooth sailing, however, the yes or no we choose may be the exact response God desires of us. As much as we might like things to be different, our understanding of most situations and circumstances is limited. We don’t have all the pieces of the puzzle, as does the Divine. As we become more attuned to the still small voice, we begin to recognize the Truth within that serves as the best guide to help us respond in any given situation.
While we have all been given the same twenty-four hour day, it is also true many factors determine the extent of our resources. Time, energy, and money are finite. When we ignore what our bodies may be trying to tell us, or if we insist on pushing ahead absent the clarity provided by the Spirit, all we may accomplish is to find ourselves frustrated, frazzled, or depleted.
When it’s all said and done, we become more compassionate and loving when we graciously accept that with every yes there will always be at least one no. We can interpret this reality as a negative that limits, or we can choose to believe those things and people we are able to say yes to are gifts and opportunities to give the best of ourselves.
Do I have a hard time saying no, especially to certain people? Why?
How do I feel when I know the best response is no, regardless of who has made the request?
How do I feel when the yes or no has to do with my desires or dreams?
